My Dad always told me "Don't shit where you eat" Oh how true! Words to live by. Love you Dad.

My Grandfather (God rest his soul) used to say " That's just like New York,but not so many tall buildings" when something went his way,or something he was working on (usually a Ship in a Bottle project or a Painting) fit or looked just right.

My friend Andy from Tennessee would say "That boy's like a lost ball in tall weeds" when referring to a Dopey guy we used to work with.

One of my other favorites is from The Beverly Hillbillys though.. "That boy's about as bright as a Smokehouse at Midnight"

Two of my favorites. My Grandfather would always say, "If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride". He was a sheet metal fabricator at Sikorsky and had no respect for folks who wouldn't work for a living. My favorite expression when you see someone scrambling is to say, "he was on that faster than a hobo on a ham sandwich". I especially like the politically incorrect rendering of hobo, which is almost as painfully funny as "stew bum".

Hi Wig, Here's one for your advice book. My grandfather used to say sit on a tack and holler for a hammer when he was irritated with somebody's BS.

I once had a boss that was a General Foreman on a government project. He delt with contractors never making their deadlines and would always say the same thing: It is what it is...Live it, learn from it, then move on. He was never stressed about anything. Hope you can use it.

My grandmother always says "you have to eat a pound of dirt before you die." My grandfather is partial, when watching a ballgames, to the phrase, "he couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a banjo".

" happy as a pig in a peach orchard"

"The old law about an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind"

"Don't look back, something might be gaining on you"

Never play cards with a man named "Doc".

Couldn't find a baseball in a tomato can.

Couldn't find his ass with both hands and a funnel.

Dumber that a box of hair.

When everbody is thinkin the same thing, there aint much thinkin goin on.

If bullshit was a religion, I'd be Pope.

Give them an inch and they think they're a ruler.

I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them."

"There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance...." - "Which one am I?" - "You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance, but you think you're low maintenance."

Happiness is a moving target.

This country was a better place when the cowboys all sang and their horses were smart.

Courtesy is owed. Respect is earned. Love is given.

May the best of the past be the worst of your future.

One good aspect of being mediocre is that you're always at the top of your game.